Schools are a big part of the jigsaw puzzle

by | May 22, 2023

Kelly is a Connective Family Parent Coach and Trainer

I have been using non-violent resistance (NVR) in my work for quite some time and I love how the approach can be moulded to fit any setting, school included. 

Having worked more recently in a mainstream comprehensive school setting, I am well aware of some of the challenges faced by school staff and I also know only too well the impact of poor behaviour in schools across the country. 

We are being told that negative behaviour in schools is getting worse and that this is resulting in poor staff wellbeing, poor educational outcomes and poor pupil wellbeing. We also know that the number of children avoiding school is at an all time high.

How can we change our approach to improve things for both schools, staff and pupils?

The traditional approach of punishing bad behaviour and rewarding good is no longer effective in both schools and home settings. We now know that this isn’t the best approach for helping children to understand the impact of their behaviour and therefore making changes. 


What does the Connective Parenting NVR approach look like in schools?

Developing meaningful and connected relationships within the school: 

    • This approach looks at developing strong relationships with all members of the school system including parents, teaching staff, non teaching and pastoral staff, pupils and anyone else involved in the running of the school. 

Help children to understand the impact of their behaviour:

    • Creating long term behaviour change 
    • Supporting pupils to be the best version of themselves
    • Improving pupil attainment 

Help staff to feel more in control of their reactions:

    • Staff will feel more equipped to deal with more challenging and disruptive behaviour
    • Staff will be able to support each other through NVR’s self care and supporters’ principles 
    • Numbers of exclusions are likely to fall
    • Better use of teaching time 

So how can schools help?

We know that positive relationships at home can help children to be more resilient and engaging, however we also know that negative relationships can have the opposite effect, meaning children develop toxic relationships with others, have low self esteem and confidence and low resilience. The same can be said for education if children have a positive connection with their school they will develop a better sense of belonging, attainment, self esteem and confidence as well as if they have a poor experience of school this can lead to them feeling that they don’t belong, display negative behaviour and have poor future prospects. 

Schools are a big part of the jigsaw and by implementing the Connective Parenting NVR approach we can help more children want to learn, want to be the best version of themselves at that moment and we can help children to learn strategies to manage their emotions and behaviour. 

The Connective Parenting NVR approach is not a quick fix solution…

However, if implemented at home and in schools we can minimise the number of children displaying challenging and disruptive behaviours, support pupils who are ready to learn, and guide those not ready to learn to find their motivation.