…..with my kids.
Oh how many times have I heard that comment! Sometimes they are right, a particular strategy won’t work because of the needs of their child. At other times it’s the parents decision that it won’t work, rather than reality.
I get it. When things are tough and you feel like you’re battling on all fronts and you’ve tried everything but nothing works, you think nothing will. And you’re right, it won’t when you’re thinking like that.
Every child is different so we need to adapt to meet their needs but if we’re not prepared to adapt, to respond differently, to think differently, then nothing is going to work.
It has to come from us. We are the adults and the role models. If we aren’t prepared to change, why should we expect our children to?
I thought I’d tried everything and nothing was working. Looking back I can clearly see how my own behaviours made things a lot worse at times and at others simply didn’t help the situation. The desire to have someone ‘fix’ the problems were huge, preferably without my involvement, but that’s not going to happen. You have to get involved.
Change isn’t easy and the sense of ‘why should I’ can be strong but ultimately if we want to change our family life we have to change the way we parent.
- No, it’s not easy.
- No, there’s no magic wand.
- It will take time.
- You will make mistakes.
- It can be ridiculously tough at times.
- It can feel like you’re going backwards sometimes.
But, when you commit to change you start the process and that’s better than staying where you are.
If you’re ready for change get some help around you, be that actual or virtual. Try different things, be as consistent as you can be and persist.
If you want to join a group of like minded people come and join me in my free Facebook group – https://www.facebook.com/groups/connectiveparentingusingNVR/