This may seem like a silly question but how do we show our children we love them?
For some children accepting love can be really hard, they might not feel lovable, others may crave it.
There will also be times as a parent when you may not like your child but deep down you do love them. We just have to reconnect ourselves to that feeling.
One of the ways we can show our child we love them is using reconciliation or relational gestures. These are small gestures where we show our child that we love them using actions not words.
These gestures are small things and not about spending money. The focus is on showing our child we love them. What you do will depend on your child, as we personalise the gestures as much as possible. Here are some examples to get you started:
1. Put a note in their lunchbox
2. Leave a note on their pillow
3. Send them a text message
4. Take them a drink even when they haven’t asked
5. Cook their favourite dinner
6. Watch them play their favourite game
These are just a few ideas. The aim is to leave them with a positive image of you in their mind. Over time that positive image is there even when they aren’t with you and it provides a sense of comfort and reassurance.
For some parents these gestures can be hard to do, particularly when your child’s behaviour is challenging. I understand how that feels, I’ve been there! When you feel like this, it’s the best time to give a gesture.
I know that sounds counter-intuitive but giving a gesture of love moves you into a more positive mindset and shows your child you love them unconditionally. To make it easier, have a few ‘easy to do’ gestures ready, then it’s less work and you’re more likely to do it.
Give the gestures and try and let me know how you get on. They are incredibly powerful at helping your child have belief in themselves and know they are lovable, as well as developing the parent child relationship.