From strong-minded toddlers to violent teens, connection is so important when it comes to building a stronger relationship with your child or young person. Creating connection is key and works in all family settings – with birth parents, foster carers, adoptive parents and kinship carers.
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Often referred to as Reconciliation Gestures these are one of the key aspects of NVR. Increasingly I’ve been using the term relational gestures as it helps to think about them in a broader way and they are not just about reconciling. NVR is based on actions rather than words, which is one of the reasons that these gestures are so powerful. Gestures show your child you love them and are unconditional and considered.
Words are powerful and convey many messages. As humans we use words to express how we feel and sometimes our choice of language can be hurtful to others... Read more in this blog about how we can use our children's words to show we are listening to them
One of the things that I’ve noticed is that when I’m not looking after myself, I’m not connected to myself, and therefore I can’t always recognise how I’m feeling or take that step back and ask myself what I need right now.
Years ago I used to set resolutions at this time of year. They were always big ones and the sort that by mid-January; I’d either forgotten about, decided were totally unachievable or didn’t believe I could achieve. You know the type of thing; going running...
In my Facebook group over the last few weeks I've been sharing tips to help make Christmas as calm as possible, and the ideas shared by parents have been amazing. So, this week I thought I'd share some of their brilliant ideas for making Christmas Day go smoothly.
Relational or Reconciliation, these gestures help you to build, or rebuild, the relationship you have with your child. They help your child to know that you love them irrespective of any tricky behaviours that are going on, or anything else that’s happening at home. They show your child that you love them anyway.
When we stop and pause and ask ourselves “what do they need right now”, we respond to them differently and it can be a phenomenal way of de-escalating a situation when we stop, pause and think about our tone of voice before we speak...
One of the most wonderful things about this approach is it CAN be used by anybody in any situation. I have used this approach with adults as much as I’ve used this as a parent.
On one of the courses for professionals I was running recently, someone said to me “Connective Parenting NVR is really challenging, because not only are we helping the parents or carer, it makes us reflect on ourself as well. If we want to be able to teach this...